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<title>Looked Upon With Loving Light by MistressofHappyEndings</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26037787">Looked Upon With Loving Light</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressofHappyEndings/pseuds/MistressofHappyEndings'>MistressofHappyEndings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Poetry in Motion [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Booker Needs A Hug and Gets One, Booker Tells The Other About Copley Before Things Go Sideways, Depression Recovery, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Loving Support, M/M, Therapy For The Win!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:21:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26037787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressofHappyEndings/pseuds/MistressofHappyEndings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A What-If if Booker had spoken up when he could have.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Poetry in Motion [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>291</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Looked Upon With Loving Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nicky looked down at the man sleeping peacefully in his arms and let the tears flow freely down his face.
</p>
<p>They had been trying harder, so much harder, he and Joe, to make sure that Booker felt as loved and cherished as much as they very much did love and cherish him ever since it had been proven so spectacularly that he didn’t feel it or even expect it of them, despite the decades he’d been their lover.  
</p>
<p>Booker had come to the three of them months ago, head bowed and shoulders hunched, and warned them about James Copley’s plans.  He told them that the man wanted the secret of their immortality, not for himself, but as a gift to humanity, a way to end illness and the needless suffering it caused.  He had a pharmaceutical company that was willing to extract those secrets and present them to the world.  
</p>
<p>Copley had also hinted that unlocking those secrets might provide a way for them to control when and how they actually died.  Booker’s voice had gone even softer and more miserable then, the words stumbling over themselves as he choked them out.
</p>
<p>And all Booker had to do was turn himself in for experimentation.  
</p>
<p>The others had rioted at this.  Joe had began shouting and gesticulating wildly while Andy had coldly demanded any and all information that Booker had on Copley and his pharmaceutical company.  Nicky had sat down beside Booker and cupped his cheek, gently encouraging the other man to raise his head.  He’d inhaled sharply at the sheer depth of self-loathing and despair in Booker’s green eyes, and he’d immediately yanked him into protective embrace.
</p>
<p>The three elder immortals had been aware that Booker struggled with the loss of his family, that his immortality weighed heavily on him, and the never-ending nightmares of Quynh disrupted his sleep to the point where he looked perpetually tired.  Joe and Nicky had thought they’d been doing fairly well in counteracting all of this with the love and care they felt for him, but neither of them had realized just how determined he’d been to keep his problems to himself or how different his needs were in a relationship.
</p>
<p>After Copley and Merrick Laboratories had been thoroughly dealt with, Joe and Nicky had taken Booker to Malta while Andy had left for Afghanistan to collect a new immortal.  While there, they had done everything in their power to rectify the grievous mistakes they’d made with their young lover.  It hadn’t been easy for any of them, and when they had rejoined Andy and the new one of them, Nile Freeman, a few months later, Joe and Nicky had felt that they had just begun to scratch the surface of Booker’s issues.  He suffered still, and they willingly suffered along with him.  He would never be alone with his pain again.
</p>
<p>It had been Nile who had suggested therapy.  None of them had been too certain about this suggestion at first.  Speaking to a stranger about something so personal didn’t really sit right with her older companions, but she had argued that therapy had been helping people for years.  It had helped her after her father’s death.  She had admitted this quietly but so adamantly that Booker had agreed to give it a try.  Joe and Nicky had agreed to go with him.  The three of them had found a small home outside of Nice and settled there after they had found a therapist they felt they could trust.
</p>
<p>It had been nice to stay in one place for a long period of time, to not be in such a hurry to move from one place to the next, to live in peace instead of violence.  Nicky thought that this stability helped as much as the therapy.  Booker seemed to be happier at any rate, and he and Joe had enjoyed spoiling him.
</p>
<p>To this end, Nicky was in the kitchen, trying to decide which of Booker’s favorite dishes to make for dinner, when Booker came home.  Head stuck in a cupboard, he’d called out a greeting to the other man, not thinking much of it when he didn’t get an immediate answer.  But when he felt an almost hesitant tug on his shirt, he paused in his rummaging to turn around. 
</p>
<p>Shuddering with exhaustion, the lines in his face twice as deep as normal, Booker wouldn’t meet his eyes, and Nicky froze with fear, wondering what had happened to put his lover into such a state when he had left in a cheerful mood this morning.  Booker took hold of his sleeve and drew him into the dark living room.  Eyes still cast downward, he fell onto the sofa and pulled Nicky down onto his lap.  Worried and scared for the younger man, Nicky let himself be guided.

</p><p>Booker sighed, a long, worn exhalation, and tucked his face against Nicky’s chest.  His cheek was cold from the outdoor wind against the warmth of Nicky’s beating heart.  Nicky pulled Booker close in response, both arms wrapped firmly around his shoulders.  Booker let out a soft sob, and then his arms and hands clutched and held tight, greedy with his want for comfort.  Nicky felt his heart break with his love and pride in the other man at that one simple gesture.

</p><p>Over the past months, Booker had gotten better about asking for affection.  This was the first time he had outright asked for comfort.
</p>
<p>He held Booker even tighter and began to rock with him.  Lips against Booker’s hair, Nicky whispered, “I’m here. I’m here, Bastien, I’ve got you.”  
</p>
<p>He felt the sag of tense muscles, the soft hitching breaths, the younger immortal letting down his defenses.  Booker let him maneuver them both down onto the couch, nestling into Nicky’s chest with his ear pressed over his heart, his arms still tight around Nicky’s torso.  Nicky wrapped one arm around Booker’s broad shoulders, the other hand resting on his head.  His fingers flexed against the younger man’s scalp in a soothing manner until he felt the last of the tension slip from the body in his care, and Booker slept.
</p>
<p> “We’ve got you,” Nicky repeated quietly against Booker’s temple.  “Joe and I have got you, sweet Bastien.  We love you.  You aren’t alone anymore.”</p>
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